Broken is Better

Broken is Better

    I have prayed for healing, redemption, saving grace and prosperity, for convenance, and for things to go my way. In fact I don't think that I am that different then most people who pray. I really don't want hard ship, struggle and inconvenience. I find it interesting that though I pray for all these things my life is littered with well quite the opposite. Perhaps I have got to change what I am praying for.

   This past three years have taught me so much about my self. I spend a great deal of energy tears and time trying to avoid catastrophe and more times then not I find myself smack dab in the middle of it. Either people love me and tell me or they do not and they tell me that to. I will pray "Lord, help things go smoothly," or I will pray please protect my heart from breaking. Yes, I pray that. Yet I have found that God my God our God my loving most passionate generous God has aloud deep heart break. I am not going to list them for fear I will fall into self pity but want I am attempting to do is share something I am learning about my extravagant God.

   Ruined, yep ruined for Christ. Will I gladly be humiliated, ruined and trampled so that I can be made small dependent, humble, and desperate for the cross to tread over me? I pray that I will be used for the Glory of God, I say to God all the time, "I give you my life." I think though the much bigger ask has been don't let me hurt. So really what I am asking God for is to be used as long as it remains easy, comfortable, and painless. No where and I have looked does it say that we will be kept from harm. In fact everyone that has been used by God to advance the Kingdom of heaven died doing it. Not comfortable in their beds but in prison, upside down on the cross, beheaded, and even beaten and spat on.

   So I asked myself, Do I really want to be used by God if what my largest prayer request has been  healing, and comfort? This is what I came up with. To seek comfort and the easy life would be directly opposite of every follower of Jesus who gave their lives for him, and to demand healing and comfort in the hear and now, or will I let the cross of Jesus tread over my heart ruin it for him while clinging to the promise that one day when I go home I will be healed, and there will be no more tears and no more pain.

  I plead with you Jesus to tread over me