Dreams Do Come True

DREAMS DO COME TRUE

 

 

 

I have many dreams; dreams of starting an Orphanage, dreams of being a motivational speaker, author, a home owner with land, a dream of filling my home with sons, and many more. All these dreams like most dreamers are good.

 

I grew up in a home where everyday was a struggle for survival. You just never new if when you woke up we'd have lights, or if the phone would work, or how we were going to eat. Everyday I remember as a struggle. As a little girl I never believed my dreams would come true. It's not that I didn't dream but, that the dreams that I had I believed were (just dreams). I minimized them because it was easier than to just be disappointed.

 

Tonight my husband took me to a production Cinderella at the theater. The fairy god mother said several amazing things that just shook me to the core. She said "Once you have a dream you'll know it's yours because you'll have to fight for it".

 

For as long as I've been married my husband has wanted to own a home. But, I have not shared the same passion. Yes, I want to own a home, but I never believed deep down inside dreams really come true. My mom became a home owner after my father became an inmate at Washington State Pen, but that would have never happened without the incomes of us kids. Even after she had her home it was so stressful just to live. With my life experiences nipping at my heart steeling pieces of my courage, I unknowingly settled for a life of a dreamer and decided thinking about them was luck enough.  

 

As I watched this amazing production my heart filled with hope and a sting of regret. I haven't even tried, really tried to buy a home because I am terrified. I do not know any kind of life without deep and painful obstacles. And, though it's a dream of mine (ours),  my experience has scared my desire to push through and to fight for it. I've never known success, lived with it or have had the courage to risk. When I have risked it's been a few dollars here and there while trying to decide how this money that I was spending was going to cost me later. I definitely never imagined that God would fulfill all my dreams. This is huge for me. I felt lucky just to think that maybe I could do this, be that, but never thought that I could do that.... and be that... at the same time.

 

After leaving the play I looked at my husband and I apologized. Because I have made him dreaming to own a home and fighting for that dream so difficult. In my own pursuit of dreams after experiencing the waging war I decide as if it's second nature to stop dreaming that dream, because the cost just seems to great for the reward. I try to suffocate my hearts great desire.

 

Not much different than the cowardly lion.....

My husband so patient and full of hope for the future has been thrashing it out with a wife who's hope for the future has been solely waiting on Jesus. Such a bleak, joyless marriage he's been in.

 

After sharing with my husband my fears, of not being able to afford a home, build an orphanage, become that motivational speaker, he looked at me and said, "I know your afraid, but taste and see that HE is good."

 

My trembling hasn't left but, I have a renewed hope for the future probably for the first time in years. I have tasted; HE is good, and I know that HE has put our dreams in our heart. So we look forward to the years to come with anticipation and hope for tomorrow. And, as we prepare to be pre-qualified I will trust in the Goodness of God to make a way, His way.

 

 



A sleeping Church

A sleeping Church

I titled this A sleeping Church because most churches are sleeping and precious few are awake. Sure lots are doing good things and sending missionaries out, even feeding the homeless, but when you go and worship there is a mothers rocking her baby to sleep sway lulling you to sleep I cringe.

Most churches are stuck in a way of doing things that once worked but no longer feed starving souls. 

I have a daughter with Autism. With this diagnosis comes a never ending need for visual and physical stimulation. Her sensory processing systems are stuck in over drive. I'm using this example  because in the same way the world is stuck in a desperate need to experience Jesus in overdrive. 

Where has the passion and excitement gone in the churches? Where has the venerability and transparency gone in churches?

When will I see the elders talk about how God is speaking to them in their personal lives and how that is affecting  change in them?

When will I see the recipe for change lived out in front of me so that I may be encouraged to finish well?

When will I see a church that is less worried about their sin than passionate about the freedom they have been granted?

I long for the stories of leaders who are living out scriptures who share both their struggle and rescue from the pulpit. I long for true authentic relationship with Jesus modeled for me, by those who have been hand picked by God to do so. 

There is a vast difference in hearing other people's stories then seeing the story lived out in front of you. And, perhaps I am stuck in a cycle of sensory overload, but I just don't think so. 

Believers are the most powerful and influential beings other than Jesus Christ here on earth. We hold the power of Jesus Christ with in us and the power of healing and resurrection. So why are we so sleepy, so apathetic, so busy self promoting. 

I am driven to desperation for an active church here in America, and dangerous church that doesn't worry about it's outside appearance but it's inside vital signs. I am driven to desperation for a church where the heart beat if heard and a dead world goes there for life. 

It was 8 years ago when I went to one of these churches, and I was a wreck. A woman said to me. "you know God is changing someone on the inside by how the outside changes too." She was right and in the same way it's true for church. I am not talking about a building, I am writing of a love, compassion, friendliness, an eagerness to love others beyond comfort zones. 

Awake, awake, Church clothe yourself with strength! Put on your garments of splendor; Shake off your dust, Rise up Sit enthroned. Free yourself from the chains on your neck.

Listen those of you who seek righteousness and who seek the Lord. Look to the rock from which you were cut and the carry from which you were hewn. The Lord looks on all your ruins with compassion and will make your deserts like Eden and your wastelands the garden of the Lord. Be Filled with Joy and Gladness and fill your mouth with Thanksgiving and the sound of singing. Listen to me my people here my instruction my righteousness never fails and my justice will become the light of nations so draw near to me speedily .