The Dream is Big


    Anyone who has ever discovered their dream knows that fear will stop at nothing. There is a time where we must, for the sake of out hearts break through the barrier of fear and run with all our hearts toward our dreams. 


  This is such a time as that. All my life I have wanted to write and speak about redemtion, and  freedom. As I have gone through deep healing in life I have discovered that all of this came with understanding the heart of God for me personally. This is the dream; to be a light, to help others see the heart of God and His unfathomable love for them. To show them that they are not alone in this life and there are some dreamers who'd love to walk beside them. 

   Two years ago God asked me to write a book about how He loves me. All last year that is what I did. Now that book is finished. There is a finatual need to get this book out. The other part of this dream is to speak on matters of the heart. I live in AZ near Phoenix and if you are interested in having a speaker for a day or an evening, for a series or even a weeked. I would sure be interested. 


   Please pray for the journey of our hearts that we are all set free to live a life worthy of His calling! 




Finding the Joy in the Swing~Gloria Bauerle

Why Daddies

Clutching my new pink bag that my husband purchased for me after then death of my beautiful Prada purse, I raced out the door. I did not want to be late picking him up. Looking pretty cute so I think I hopped into our SUV and scurried through dusty desert roads. I found my self behind a van and etched into the dirt were the finger prints of a little girl who wrote, I love Daddy. Then the tears began to fall. I have never written those words, but more over I do not know what it is like to have that, and realizing all at once that right now in life I need a daddy. 

My oldest daughter is moving in a few weeks to live with her father and I cannot help but feel as though my heart has been cut out. She is fourteen and has not had her father in her life at all. I see the desire and have wanted this for her, but I do not think I realized how much it was necessary till now. Barely two days go by and she is in tears if she cannot talk with him. She believes that he will make all things better and that there is not a greater person in the whole world then her daddy. He is her hero. 

Oh how I have needed to feel that way, I have needed to know that I have a daddy that will make things better, a hero. I began to think of a friend of mine whom I've known along time. I remember wishing even praying that I could have her father. I did not know how to put words to what I longed for so I became jealous of her. If she only new what she had how she'd love him so much more.  Then as the jealousy took all that it could the belief that not all girls are blessed cheeped in with icy fingers and, I conceded and berried my desires for a father. I boarded up that part of my heart and focused on my fatherless daughter. 

A month or so ago God began to journey with me through where he was when I was a little girl how he fathered me. I did not understand the fullness of what was stolen from me. Every little girl needs a father a hero, every little girl need to be the princess to some daddy. Weeping for the loss of it all and the pain that was freshly revealed through my daughter leaving. There has been this part of me that has been angry for all of this and another part that has felt guilty for hurting so badly. I should be happy right my daughter is getting what was taken from me, and I am. At the same time I wrestle with the past experiences of fathers.  It is in this place the wound left with poison festers from the enemy and it is this place that God has been ever so gently lancing and bringing to the surface all that separates me from his fathering me. 

All along God has been pleading with me to be my hero, to be my father. All along I have remained hard in this place, only removing sections as he proved to me that his love for me will not leave me empty. But, with this one he must empty me first and then lay his hero hand over my broken heart to heal the brokenness that came so long ago. 

So daddy I do so look

and my hero I see

bring me to your cross

Lord I want to lay at your feet

It is here and now God I surrender

every part of me

I give you my broken heart 

for you to reach inside and remove from

me what is not from you

Father my dear sweet God

let me know what it is like to be your darling

sweetly broken and completely free

My daddy God the Hero of me

By Gloria Bauerle