Kings

Kings

The wildness of God beckons to the places in me that cause me at times to grip the sides of life with white knuckles. For to the depth of his calm and tenderness there is a side to Him that is just as much wild, dangerous and cunning. 

My husband and I have been parented by the church. You could say that God has given us such a wonderful gift in life as to have put us into a couple glorious churches where the light and life of God is being tapped into, where  the way to pure water has been found. Where God abounds and religion begins to fade away. 

We were called away from our homeland to come and love a people that was hard for us to love. Of course when God calls us into something we nearly always picture something far less circumcising, and much smaller scope then that of God. In this case the vastness of God has me humbled and on my face in this great love he has for us, for me. 

Our paster at the church where we were first being raised in has been so generous with his time with me. Last week I poured out my heart to him on the phone for we are 1500 miles apart. The battle wounds are for curtain, deep and painful. It was like talking to a father, and as close to a conversation as an earthly father can get.  I realized in the midst of our conversation the sovereignty of Gods hand in all of this. 

It seems when God delivered me from the grip of this world, He placed me in the midst of the most tenderhearted family to heal, to be loved and looked at from my destiny not my history. Our Pastor is a good king. What we had know thus far was the leadership of a good king. A king that we could not help but love. For this king is a gift from God and because of his heart it made me want to server him all the more. So when God called us to move over 1500 miles away to serve and love another king it broke me heart. 

Our new king was a different king. His heart is broken. We were not received in the arms of a father king, the arms that we had known so well. So out of the only way we knew how to, we loved him, we began our of obedience to the Lord who called us to serve him they way we served and loved our good king. When months had passed and God began closing the doors there. My heart was so confused. Why would God call us away from our good king in the first place. It seemed like a bogus mission. 

God had began the steps long before we came to make ready our new home. God was preparing our hearts for a good king again and preparing a good king for us! There is no greater love then that of God. I was spending time with God talking to him about where I had possibly handled our mission in pride when, it was as if God allowed some fog to lift so that I could see. 

It was a dark time serving our hurting king, but it was God who guided us. His hand of sovereignty has been over under and through every move and circumstance. In the much smaller scale could I have excepted our new king with such warmth and desire for his leadership if we had not been called to serve a hurting king first? I don't think so. It was the desert that caused us to realize our deep thirst. It is the desert where we have been carried through the battle and even though we have been hit, what my heavenly father took for us was so much more.  painful. 

The kings that God has chosen for me in my life serve a deeper purpose then my understand goes. The understand of the way God loves me and his deep affection for me is what provides wisdom in how to believe and see, and his clarity provided in his perfect time tells me where to move and how to be. It is as if my King of Kings and Lord of Lords is teaching me to move and dance to the rhythm and heart beat of heaven.