And We Dance

And We Dance

The air smelt of dirt and pine needles as me feet slapped the ground of our gravel drive way. I was on my way to an enchanting secret garden. I knew  that my new family was looking for a little girl like me. It was there, in the most secret places that I would dance under the giant arms of the evergreens while the rhododendron  blossoms garland my head. I just knew that my daddy was watching me be-hind the next big tree. 

Where do the daddies go for the girls who dream of daddies that really love them? My biggest desire was to be rescued by a new family a new daddy, and I was curtain he'd find me under the canopy and amongst the flowers. It was here that He'd want me too! Little did I know that my father was watching me all along. 

I was not that different from most little girls that have beliefs or understandings that our daddies are supposed to make our dreams come true. The dreams of beauty, and the dream of being the darling of his life. My daddy like most daddies was given a blessing, me; but, failed to see all that my little girl heart needed or could be. It withered away till one day I looked into the mirror at the age of 5 and did not like what I seen. It was clear far to young that I could not get anyone to see me. I was nearly always seen as to much. I was never seen as enough. So through out life I went from person to person looking to be seen. There my heart broke year after year, man after man, daddy after daddy, desperately trying to find someone who would want to dance with me. 

I let go of the beaconing of enchanting truths that caused me to run to the secret places. Where I would run through our garden cutting a crossed the neighbors back yard to the path that lead to my hiding place. My fingers lazily lingered on the towering reeds that shielded me from every view. My heart would be leaping with joy at every thought that I was going to the thrown room  where I would be crowned with jewels so I could meet my daddy king. My thrown room was a make shift willow tree that skirts danced with the wind on the reeds. It was under the canopy of my thrown room that we were going to dance with the crickets and water dragons. But, like a pounding rain disrupts a pool of still waters. My fair tale ended and the dream of dancing disappeared with the wind leaving the reeds, as I bore the screaming reality what the enemy so forcefully penetrated and shredded my heart for was accomplished. It was along time after that where my heart would dance again for Him. I would be eighteen and a new mommy. It was there in my dream that he etched in me the beautiful dance, an enchanting melody. It was in this dream that he saw me in my filth in my brokenness and shame then with tender daddy hand he held my face wiped my tears and we danced on the mountain top under the canopy of the willow tree where I was dressed with beauty, with flowers in my hair. It was the Lord who had been calling me to dance all these years.

It is only now where I get to dance with my father where he has given me my identity and where His shoulders have been big enough to carry my broken heart and who hands have been constant in drying my tears. It is just in the last few years where God my daddy has been teaching me the steps to the melody he started 32 years ago.