The Promise Of Healing

The Promise Of Healing

Last year at this time my heart grew in this weighty heaviness. As though I was standing on the edge of winter in my life. It seemed as if there was a promise of danger an understanding of danger that was lurking in the frigid icy winters. 

I set in my sanctuary room where I asked my father what it was that he wanted to talk with me about. I do not know why it is that when we hear God speak to us we think of it in small terms with out a moving epic power. I know that his words heal and raise people from the dead but, to transfer this power into my life in this real time has seemed somewhat different then the stoic testimonies of scripture. 

Good morning Lord! What do you want to say to me?

My beloved be eager in seeking me like a new love. I want to be wanted by you. 

Lord I said, show me how to love you. 

My beloved He said, you do love me.  You have boundaries on your love. 

Lord I replied, what are those?

Oh, Gloria they are your gates of fear, let down your fear and let me love you there. 

Lord, my heart knows of this place. I fear tragedy and being homeless, and loosing my child. Lord, its more then those things its the feelings and beliefs that have rode on the hems of those circumstances. The fear that I may have not herd from you and that I lead my family astray. Lord, you are the only one who can relieve my fear. What do you have for me to hear and understand? 

From your fear He said you do not know me. Have I not brought your needs thus far and loved you tenderly. When did you believe that I stopped loving you through your need. Remember stand in how I love you. I will never leave you. Glorious you are my beloved so let down the gates of fear. 

Lord I said, I give you my fear and I set it at your feet. Consume all of me Lord leaving nothing for the enemy. I believe you love and I choose to love you the way you love me. I give you my fears, my joys, my sorrows, and my delight. I take my place as the bride of your heart. Lord I love you. 

I began to write down the different ways that God has loved me and the more I wrote the more this fear began to evaporate like the warm sun shining of the chill of fog. Over 35 different way I wrote down and then I stopped. Showing it to the Lord he has said as gentle a loving father. 

Write more and more. So after many many hours of writing I asked him if that is was good and he said to keep writing. I felt confused. I opened my bible to Malachi 4:6. It was there that God commissioned a scroll of remembrance to be written. It was there that this book of the way He loves me was birthed. Could be that as we all read this that we use the power of God to trample out fear in our lives. 

It is nearly a year later and my oldest daughter who is 14 is moving away from me to live with her father. My heart broken under this crushing weight of that which is the desire of her heart. Could I let her have this redeemed man that God ordained to be her father bestow on her the eyes of a father that I never have seen. I could not keep her to my self for fear.  So with all the power of the Holy Spirit of God I release her to her father to experience the love of an earthy father. All the while this book is nearly finished. We have been just a breath all along from homelessness and God has never left us alone Just like he promised!

Come to me all you who are weary and burned and I will give you rest

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me

For I am gentle and humble in heart

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me

"You will find rest for you souls 

You will find rest for you souls~Aaron Shust