The Pilgrimage

The Pilgrimage

I watched the movie for the first time the other day The Wizard of OZ! Why I have not see this movie before now is a book all in it's own. I love this movie for is cheerful humor and I laughed late into the night. But, the real reason why I love this move is that I can relate so much with the journey. Perhaps there is a fundamental truth about the journey they were on and the journey that God has us on. I set up thinking about our journey thus far in the same context in which Dorothy was on. Both my husband and I are on the same journey but experiencing entirely different things out of the same circumstances. I wondered almost joyfully am I looking for my brain, or am I trying find courage. I know that we both have heart for that is the first thing that God began to restore in us. I chuckled in the option that I am wondering around in the desert with out a brain! But then a deeper thought entered in. Perhaps it is not the brain, heart or even courage for us but the utter search in our desire. Desire was the reason why Dorothy ran away from home. 

John Eldredge shares in his book the Sacred Romance a deeper look at the truth of the pilgrimage, sojourners in the christian walk. 

I will go before you and will level the mountains; I will break down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron. I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am Lord, the God of Israel, who summons you by name. (Isa. 45:2-3)

He Goes in to say, Gods imagery of going before us lets us know that he desires us to go on a journey. This is not so frightening. Most of us are aware that the Christian life requires a pilgrimage of some sort. We know we are sojourners. What we have sometimes not given much thought to is what kind of journey are we taking. 

Not realizing it is a journey of the heart that is called for, we make a crucial mistake. We come to a place in our spiritual life where we hear God calling us. We know he is calling us to give up the less-wild lovers that have become so much a part of our identity, embrace our nakedness, and trust in his goodness.

As we stand at this intersection of God's calling, we look down two highways that appear to travel in very different directions. The first highway quickly takes a turn and disappears from our view. We cannot see clearly where it leads, but there are ominous clouds in the near distance. Standing still long enough to look down this road makes us aware of an anxiety inside, an anxiety that threatens to crystallize into unhealed pain and forgotten disappointment. We check our valise and find no up-to-date road map but only the torn and smudged parchment containing the scribbled anecdotes and travelers' warnings by a few who have traveled the way of the heart before us. They encourage us to follow them, but their rambling journals give no real answers to our queries on how to navigate the highway. 

Yes, yes! It was understood others understand. We were called to move to AZ. I did not want to come. My release of my beloved gift was one finger at a time. As gentle as God was to me in this release it still felt like a tearing of my heart to great depths. But, my husband loves them just as much, but could not wait to journey.  Though in this journey of life together is a similar journey of the heart we find that what he is searching for is something far different then I. I could have stayed forever. I had the desires of my heart, well most of it anyhow. Sure I wanted to live a more comfortable life, but other than that I had finally felt like I had a home. I was searching for my place in the bigger story and I was not finding it at home. Yet I understood what was outside of this new home and I clung to it with all that I had. God in his crazy passionate love for me would not let me settle for a mediocre walk. His whole purpose is to set us completely free. I feel like Dorothy with her desire to want to go home. Yet my husband and I are in the midst of discovering just who we are in this great battle for the desires of our hearts. I related so much with each character in the Wizard Of Oz. It was only four years ago where I started the journey of my heart. Understanding the reality of living with out a heart, and then the venerability it takes to live from the heart in which God has called me to. Yet the discovering the part of me that has wisdom and discernment. To not just hear those who have traveled before me the journey of the heart tell me what they see, but rather putting it into action while standing in the battle with my husband over our hearts and the hearts of others. Discovering that it takes more courage to let go of good for the unknown promise is a courage that I am learning that has been in me all along. While all the while I pray for the day to be with my beloved once again.