He Calls He Saves

He Calls He Saves

From the time I was a little girl I dreamed of being an author. At first the dream started with the day dreams of a lonely little girl that wrote and delivered messages for the king that lived across the Willamette River. To spinning the globe in our home telling all the world about a message that was waiting for them. It was all the danger this little girl missionary could could handle. As I got older my imagination was more of a reality that I wanted to believe in. so I would constantly tell the stories that I dream as if they were real with my family. The stories never were received as innocently as they were imagined up. The negative responses began to stifle my courage to share my desires outside of my imagination.  

As I fell clumsily into my teen years that carried the stench of pain and remorse, I began to write poetry. They were dark and would send chills up the spine of the strongest of souls. They sang the songs of a deeply broken girl who had lived to much life for her age. My ability to articulate all that I needed to was frozen in time and writing became in it's twisted form my ability to free my bloodied soul.

In my early twenties I could barley utter a word. I did not know what I liked, or what I wanted. The very idea of living one more day was suffocating to the core and I was loosing my ability to function. I know longer could write and I was reduced to cutting out pictures and placing them on my wall. It was then that the owner of a halfway house I was bunked up in, decided that I needed some help beyond what they understood. It was there the long journey of learning to talk again began through the form of writing. For three months I could not speak, for all that I had become and went through had built it's walls and it all was killing me. It was through patches of brokenness spilling out through the ink of my pin that began to etch in my heart an ancient call of day dreams before. There hope began to grow as though it was in ti's most tender form. Writing although through soggy tears and broken dreams I began to write life as I understood it to be. 

In my late twenties I went through the most life changing God ordained freedom know to any heart in prisoned by the damage of depravity of a fallen world. I started to talk about what I once could only write about. Through the power of both spoken and written words I began to with the bravest of souls unpack the graveyard that become my home for many long years. Through tremendous healing power and sovereignty of God and the goodness of the Holy Spirit, I began to write my process of healing and restoration. For the first time in my life I had felt utter freedom and it was as if those fairy tales that beat so constant on my heart, began the song to a melody of redemption.

Not long ago I found myself on my way to a writers retreat where I am working on my first book. I almost felt as if I was in the wrong body. I was feeling fearful of my ability of doing that which God has called up in me to do. I felt on a heart level that I do not have what it will take to live this life. It all is go God size. I opened up my bible and read in Isaiah 52:2 ~ Shake off your dust; sit enthroned, O Jerusalem. Free yourself from the chains on your neck, O captive daughter of Zion.~ God spoke to my heart. You are free and with my you can do anything that is called according to my purpose for you! There is no greater joy then that , that come from our God. I had a picture of believers sitting in chains around there necks convinced that this is as good as it gets. That the feeling of freedom in the heart is all that God met by life to the full. When not only did God intend for us to feel but, to live, stand free, because his Son has set us free. 

All my life God was calling me to a bigger story then that which I understand. My story although feels larger then life at times in the kingdom's story it is one in a million that has been called according to His purpose. God is taking this story rewriting it to sing the song of a Saviour so in love with me that He moved heaven and earth to save me. Not just from sin, but from life in the remounts of its remains.

Today I am nearly finished with my first book. I am taking one baby step at a time into the life God has planned for me from the start. Thank God for freedom, thank God for mercy, thank God for calling me to live free, thank God for those who believe in me, who support me and who have and will help me along the way...Amen!