Being Created

Being Created

I have found myself in the position of being offended by corrective criticism. I mean, really who wants that? I have been called into ( what I call the principles office ) more times then I can count. Most all in which has been for my heart. Yet each time wether I have a point that needs to be made on a specific topic or not, God usually keeps me humbled and shares a lesson for me. I am finding that God will not stop for any reason to set my heart free. He will use anyone and any thing to get me to understand that he is passionately after me.

I have never ever thought of my self as spiritual. It has only been in the last couple years that I have felt that I had more to offer my children then brokenness and pain. I have known that I am a leader but a leader that really has not wanted to be the main leader of anything that had to do with helping people. I just fear making mistakes and leading them astray. I could not bare the shame of misrepresenting God to the masses. I have seen more of my fare share of interesting perspectives of who people have figured out God to be through interpretations of theology. I firmly believe that God has me on a journey of self discovery and who he is in those experiences. 

Until I was about 27 I only understood God to be what others had said but mostly the way that I experienced him in my own life.  I do not believe I am to far off in stating that most people view God by how they experience him. This can be both heart wrenching and redeeming. The God I know cannot be described through theology. The God I know can only be known through personal experience. In the beginning of my walk with God I was undone. It was like God needed to strip me of my old thinking, old identity and build me up the way he had designed from the start. One of my analogies that is in my swing study describes this like a spool of thread.  When we come to Jesus we are spun with all kinds of experiences, beliefs, memories, failures and successes, heart ache and love. It is through that we measure what is right and good and fair. But, God in his amazing heart for us says NO. That is not your measuring line, I am and he begins to unspool us. It is only after we are willing to be completely undone can he begin to rebuild the core of who we are. In the process of being undone I have lost parts of me. Not that they were a pure, true representation of who I am, I had to let them go so that those things could be restored. If I could explain it better. Its like going from broken relationship to broken relationship expecting different results. The desire for relationship is good, just the process in how you get there and what it is built on needs changing. That is me. 

God has taken me, healed me, restored my heart, now he is wanting to work on the other parts of me that I had lost along the way. I am encouraged by Phil 1:6 Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. The way that God speaks to our hearts through any means if we chose to listen will dramatically change the life we life for him and with him. To know him personally is far more valuable in it riches then to know about him. One of the newest parts of me he is building is understanding him through unthinkable circumstances, revolution in to his mysterious ways. His divine finger prints are on every part of me and he is revealing a his glorious plan.

Jeremiah 9

Thus says the Lord: "Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom,

Let not the mighty man glory in his might

Nor let the rich man glory in his riches;

But let him who glories in this,

That he understands and knows Me,

That I am the Lord, exercising lovingkindness

Judgment, and righteousness in the earth

For in these I delight," says the Lord

Jeremiah 24

"Then I will give them a heart to know me,

That I am the Lord

And they will be My people

And I will be their God

For they shall return to Me with their whole heart.